Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
