sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
