Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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