I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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