turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
