You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
