i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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