I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
