she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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