you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
