my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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