Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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