UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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