I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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