I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
ttyl tear gas
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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