So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
