the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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