butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
