Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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