That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
