what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
