That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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