Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
