Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
