We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
