Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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