so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My pussy is not your playground.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
