apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
