Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
