Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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