Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
