shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think your dad took our porno
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
