why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
