I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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