I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
