Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
