Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
