You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
