Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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