You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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