That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
