he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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