Whod you bang
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
