just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
