Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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