Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
