At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
