we're blogging at a bar
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
