Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
