I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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